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Kiley Saunders

What Other People Think of Me is None of My Business

Vanlife Archive: December 16, 2020


This blue pen with which I write this entry is from Carl, the owner of the Dream Manor Inn who took me in, no questions asked, connected me with Cole and got my stripped spark plug fixed all in a day.

While I will take my time in writing up that (un)believable story of good people, positivity, and kindness. First, a few points of housekeeping:

  • Today is Wednesday December 16. 9 days until Christmas.

  • It is important that I get stamps so I can send cards to family.

  • I have Dad's card. I need to get one for Mom, Jake, and Grandma.

  • Then, I will send Xmas cards to the rest.

I also want/need:

  • Soap dispenser

  • GPS tracker

  • AAA batteries

  • MaxxTraxx

  • Handheld battery powered vacuum

Thinking about how I want to re-up my electric system. Propane stove may also be in order as my 1200W cooktop draws a ridiculous amount of power from my system.


After using faroutride.com's load calculator, I have learned my daily load as it currently runs is only about 70aH.


Right now I have:

  • 2, 125 aH deep cycle AGM batteries

  • 1500 W Inverter

  • 60 a alternator (van)

  • and my daily load = 70 aH

Apparently, wihtout solar, my 125 aH AGM batteries are too heavy a load for my alt alone. Also, could overwhelm my inverter though 3000W surge protected.


Find out: a day in the sun with solar panels harvest ______?

 

"What others think about me is none of my business."

While I certainly do care about how i make people feel, especially people I love, I do not care about what untrue things other people may think about me.


Often times, I'd get really excited about a goal, dream, vision, intuitive impulse, etc. but a voice in my OWN HEAD says, "people will think you've lost it, you're off your rocker, for good this time. You're crazy, you'd be so ______ if you just _____, were more of less _____. She's weird, she's doing too much, WHATEVER. So this statement is actually one I say to the hater in my own damn head, that I create in my own mind. This damn devil trying to stop my dreams and creative momentum before they even get a chance to live anywhere outside my mind! That's just unacceptable. So... my own fear, I look at it and tell it, if what it's trying to scare me with is the idea that someone who doesn't even really know me might think, is that...well...what other people think of me is truly none of my business. And so I crystallize the vision anyway.


I can't have my own mind be a hurdle to my visions for myself! Surely it will encounter enough obstacles out in the world, why would I add another, right at the genesis, on my own accord?!


I'd tell my mom something I wanted to do so so so passionately but say "I can't, people will REALLY think she done fully lost it this time."


And she'd respond with "well, Kiley. What others think of you is frankly none of your business."

So please, do it.

 

Sometimes I will pull up to a Whole Foods or a Lifetime Fitness in the van and I'll park wayyyyy in the back because everyone's shiny luxury vehicles and Lululemon pants are in the front and I feel like they'll think I'm really a creature rolling out of this old handmade thing.

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